"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize