My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize