There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
