everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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