just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
