so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize