He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize