I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
