No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
