What a fucking waste of an outfit
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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