when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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