Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
