I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
