I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize