you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
