dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
