apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
