i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
