I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
