If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
