Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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