My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
