can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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