I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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