Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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