Don't you send me to vm
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
