WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i need an iv and a liver transplant
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize