dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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