Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
