that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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