So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
