doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
