I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bring money and cleavage
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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