She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
