No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
