What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
