Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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