I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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