OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
