i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
