So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
