Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
