At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
