Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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