So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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