A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
