Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I lost the right to judge tonight
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