OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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