Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
