he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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