How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just want to make out with him forever
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
