I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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