If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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