He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
