So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
