Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
