...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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