Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
