at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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