Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
