He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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