need another drink. this is the easiest way
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize