No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I could fuck to npr.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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