i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
