The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
